How The Man I Love Made Me Live In Resentment

I am currently 26 years old and I keep living in resentment. In 2019, I camped for NYSC in Imo state where I met this huge dark handsome gentleman. We became friends. I fell so hard for him because we were so close in the camp that people started shipping us, I am equally very beautiful with a banging body. I also thought this guy was into me so I was waiting for him to probably start proposing a relationship, however, he didn’t ask me out. Towards the end of our camp, I asked him if we could date but he told me he has a girlfriend, I almost died on hearing that. I kept trying to make this guy like me but he was just friend-zoning me.

Later, I just gave up and accepted us as just friends. Four months into the NYSC program, this my very close friend started putting stupid ideas in my head. One of the weekends when we would just hang out together and play games, my friend spiked his drink with one stuff that makes a man madly horny with a hard erection. She intended to have sex with him since I had lost interest in him.  However, she left me alone with the guy after she got a call from her mom in Owerri. When that stuff started working, he started sweating and he asked me to go home. When I saw how he was reacting, I got scared so I stayed. He told me he was horny but he doesn’t want to have sex with me or anyone. I started giving him a hand job thinking it will make him cum. But unfortunately, he pounced on me and forcefully had sex with me.

Being a virgin, it was really painful. I cried a lot but midway, I started enjoying the sex. After the sex, he started crying and begging me. I told him it was okay thinking he might start feeling something for me since he discovered I was a virgin but that was the opposite, instead, he started asking me if I did anything to him. A few days later, he called me and asked me if I put anything in his drink, I got pissed and we argued. I told him I am the victim here as well. He told me he did a blood test that evening and it showed that there are substances that he didn’t consume in his blood. He ended up telling his girlfriend what happened and I don’t know how that played out with her. Three months after we stopped talking, I found out I was pregnant and contacted him.

He said even if he wanted to be a father, it can’t be with a person like me. Little did I know that my so-called friend had gone to lie to him that it was me who spiked his drink, she also lied that I have been trying to use kayanmata on him. I was so angry at him, he saw I was a virgin that day, how can he say who knows if he is responsible or even suggests I abort it? Later on, his girlfriend reached out to me saying she wouldn’t want me to have an abortion, she said she has spoken to him that he will be there for me and that I would have the baby but both of them will raise it. I was so angry so I  insulted her. We later concluded after my family and his family got involved. He insisted he won’t marry me as my family wanted.

His family asked me to move in with them in his family house, then the lockdown started. A week into my staying with them, he moved out regardless of the lockdown, I was very emotionally needy and I felt like dying during that period. My aunt asked me if I wanted her to lock him with jazz and I agreed, she did her native jazz but it still didn’t work on him. Unfortunately, after I gave birth, the baby died. My aunt says it’s his girlfriend that made the baby die and the jazz not work. I just want to move on but I still feel angry and guilty. If he was with me or given me love as the woman carrying his first child, maybe my baby would have survived. I still feel resentment toward his girlfriend because they got married a few months after I gave birth, and he didn’t even mourn his child. She has a living twin and I have nothing.

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<span style=”font-family: Helvetica;”>Also Read: My Near-Death Sexcapade