It’s just 3 years of marriage and I am fed up with my husband. I met my husband in 2018, I was working in Abuja then and he was working in Lagos. He told me he had no business in Abuja as he is based in Lagos state. We talked about it and we concluded on a transfer to Lagos. I loved this guy so much that I would do anything for him, he loved me more because he did x10 of whatever I did for him. I mean, aside from material things, what else could a girl want from a guy if not attention and romance? Fast forward to one festive period, he told me he would like to meet my parents as his family is ready for an introduction.
I put a call to my family to prepare for that weekend, and they weren’t even surprised because to them too, e don reach for a 29-year-old girl to marry na. I was so happy that night that we had sex for the first time. After the sex, he looked straight into my eyes and said “I thought you were a virgin”, I didn’t say anything but laughed and went to freshen up. The weekend passed by with the introduction and I started noticing he was withdrawing from me, most times he gives me dirty looks as if I was into prostitution. I talked to him about it and I told him it was fine if he does not want to go ahead with the marriage. He brought out the Bible and swore with it that it wasn’t because of the virgin stuff or anything and that he loves me till death.
In 2019, we got married and wahala started. I was 4 months pregnant when he slapped me because of a minor argument. I was so angry that I slapped mine back (omo, I just wanted to stand my ground too) and before I could say anything, he beat me up so bad that I lost my pregnancy. I told my parents about it and they told me it’s part of marriage, that’s how the first few years of marriage look like and that I should just endure. When they called him, he said he had apologized. I wasn’t surprised to hear this from my parents because these were people who wanted me out of their space. I still packed all my bags and went home o. It was at that time my husband started gossiping about me and tarnishing my image.
He talked about my family, saying why will my parents accept me back instead of them throwing me out to go back to my husband’s house. All the gossip started weighing on my dad that he felt sick. My younger siblings talk to me anyhow and even insult me using my marriage. I couldn’t take it so I went looking for a house to rent and I got one. I didn’t even spend 2 weeks when my Husband located me and started begging but I kept sending him out. After another 2 weeks, he brought his family members to come to beg me. We had a small meeting in my one-bedroom apartment and they scolded him so much that he started crying. I felt pity for him and I went back to him. Immediately I got home, he turned into a changed man.
He cooks, cleans, and takes care of me. It was too good to be true, but after 1 week, he became cold again. I kept asking him what was wrong and he said nothing so I didn’t bother. One day I noticed a cockroach has infested our wardrobe so I brought out all his clothes and mine to sun dry, I found a packet of condoms and a used condom wrapped in tissue in his pocket. I was so angry that when I confronted him, as a typical Yoruba guy, he fell on his knees and started crying that he made a mistake and it was when we were far apart he cheated. Ah ok!! I called his parents to report him and they told me my wahala is too much and that I should get used to that after all he’s a man.
They told me his mother is a Muslim and her religion permits more than one wife so I should not give myself hypertension. I went through this pain for months, I never allowed him to touch me and I never forgave him. Even when I cook for him he tells me to eat it first as he thought I would poison him. It went on like that and eventually, I decided to forgive him. All this while my work transfer never happened and like play I was becoming a full housewife. But I don’t know why I keep having the feeling that he must have tampered with my work transfer to not happen. It was my birthday in June and he organized a house party for me, his friends and mine came over. It was there I got attracted to one of his friends.
I jokingly told my husband that his friend was so cute and his lips were pink. I didn’t know I was buying trouble when he started insulting me and that it was this type of wayward life that made me a lost girl before he got married to me. I slapped him and left the house to sleep in a hotel close by. He kept calling, begging, and crying but I knew I had it at that point! He begged till he was exhausted and then said if I was tired of staying at the hotel, I should come home. I ran out of money as he was my only source of income so I went back home only for him to be making jest of me like I had turned a poor soul. He knew that money was the only thing he will be using to control me as I wasn’t working but then I kept cool.
You know what they say “a smart woman knows how to get her husband”, I played cool and started extorting money for the business. He started cheating more and more and when I complain, he tells me I can leave if I want to. Two years down the line, my husband treats me like trash and I find it ok because he’s who I depend on. I started a food business with the money, I saved and this man spoilt everything by reporting to his family that his friend was the one that gave me the money behind his back. There was no explanation that I didn’t make to clear myself. None of them, not even my family believed me. That was when my life changed, I started seeing his friend and we slept together a few times. After all, let the gossip that wasn’t true before be true now.
I did it with my full chest knowing well what will happen is already happening. His friend got so attached to me that he did everything for me and I am beginning to love him. This life isn’t just fair to women and I am one of them but it is what it is. It’s better than falling into depression or taking poison. God wey Dey forgive cheating men will forgive cheating women too. I tried!!!
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